What I do care about

I don't care about being rich; I just want enough money to pay my bills. Some people hear that as wanting to barely make ends meet and scrape by struggling until the day I die. This perception is disrespectful and often leads to greed, where enough is never enough. The point is to do what is necessary to survive and be healthy, placing money in its proper role as a tool.

The lengths people go to for money often result in crimes, painting a mental picture of a villainous character. Greed stems from fear. Once deprived individuals find a source of wealth, they take only for themselves, leaving nothing behind. It's like a thirsty man hoarding a well, always the thirstiest because he needs it all for himself. Water has never tasted so good as when you haven't drunk in days, just as alcohol is always appealing to an alcoholic.

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What can I get my greedy little hands on?

I am an alcoholic, and it's so easy to become an addict. The first step is putting the thought in your head that you can't live without something—done, you're now an addict. What can you not live without? What do you tell yourself you need simply because you can't imagine your life without it?

My question is, why do you let your imagination rule your real-life interactions? The fantasy may be fantastic, but reality tears through it every time. The delusional will work to put the fantasy back together and struggle to keep it, protecting it. I admitted my role in this example. The fantasy was that I didn't drink too much, that I was just having fun. The aftermath was never fun; it always hurt, and that pain made putting the fantasy back together seem worth it.

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Letting go of thought never been so hard and easy.

Why lie to myself to feel better when it didn't help? It made the thought that my life was in my control less real. I had the crutch to blame instead of my own decisions, and I liked the thought of it. Blaming something else other than yourself—why use my time wisely when I can go out and have fun? Blame someone else other than yourself—those guys walked into me, they saw me walking here. Blame anything else other than you—why do I struggle so hard just to lose the night before and pass out till the next day?

Then reality kicks in, and you start rationalizing with yourself. You know it's all bull, and it's only then that you choose: build the house of cards or start being honest with yourself.

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No right answer only put one foot infront of the other

Motivation sucks, but whatever it takes to keep putting one foot in front of the other for even a small change is worth it. It's not easy to change your expectations, but it's easy to recognize when they're not working for you. Picking yourself up after a fall sucks because you believe you never should have fallen in the first place. People fall all the time—it's part of life. Get over it, get used to getting back up, examine yourself and the situation, ask questions, and find the correct answers.

Examine yourself again. Put a lot of thought into it and get better at it. People love to critique others, but being self-critical is crucial. Be as real as you can and improve. Look around—where is the safe place for you? I burned a lot of bridges and didn't realize it until it was too late. Having a safe place is a blessing if you have it. Make a safe place, even when you think your current safe place is safe. Create one free from habits, giving you the ability to be without them.

Don't make any promises, don't make any commitments, and don't try to be in people's lives. Be honest about it—this sucks, especially with family. If someone asks if you're coming over, just say, "Nope, working on myself, not sorry, need to do this." Will they understand? No, not really, but take it slow and move forward. The rest will be different for everyone, and life is so diverse and crazy. Let go of expectations and have patience. This helped me understand I was delusional about my life and what I was doing in it I am in control.

Take your Authority